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: Customer Reviews
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Review by Another Mom, September 13, 2000
Reviewer: June P. Gibbs from Knoxville, TN USA
A friend who, like myself and Dr. Kagan Klein, lost a child gave me her copy
of Gili's Book to read. My 14-year-old daughter Casey died in a car wreck
four years ago. I have read so many books in the past four years, and many
of them have been very good books. But none compares to Gili's Book. There
are so many similarities in the feelings Dr. Kagan Klein expresses -- and
the feelings I "feel."... In addition to her personal insights, Dr. Kagan
Klein shares... eight typical reactions in cases of sudden death. These
describe my experiences so well. I think that only another parent whose
child has died knows how it really feels. Dr. Kagan Klein KNOWS, and that's
something that sets her book apart. She speaks to us and for us. I thank Dr.
Kagan Klein for writing this book and helping other moms like me.
Review of Gili's Book, December 21, 1999
Reviewer: Nita Aasen (see more about me) from St. Peter, Mn.
This spring I was doing a literature review on bereaved parents and grief
resolution and Gili's Book popped up on the screen. Initially I received a
copy from the library but after reading it, I knew that I had to have my own
copy. What was so refreshing about this book was that it was not syrupy. In
fact, it was anything but syrupy. The pain, agony, and her grief was so
real. It was also real in that Kagan (Klein) did not promise that life would
ultimately be wonderful or happy again. Instead she was very up front in
saying that parental grief was a unique kind of grief and that it was likely
to last a lifetime. As a bereaved parent myself, I definitely prefer to hear
the truth, hard as it may be, than be fed a line that tries to cover up or
camouflage what may be ahead of me. What I found particularly helpful about
the book was Kagan (Klein's) differentiation between sadness and depression,
surviving and living, and a hope and mission. It described me to a T. Five
years ago, two of my three young adult sons were killed in a Thanksgiving
car accident and consequently, I have been told I was depressed. My thoughts
were, "No, I am not depressed. I'm sad. I'm always sad." Some of the
characteristics of deep sadness and how it differs from depression as
described by the author are as follows. With the deep sadness that occurs
after the death of a child (Children), the cause of the sadness is very
clear and it may last a lifetime. True for me (With depression, the cause
may be unknown and it may or may not go away with or without treatment) A
person experiencing deep sadness responds to touch, warmth and reassurance.
True for me (Depression may involve a lot of coaxing and bribing) Finally
deep sadness is associated with a spiritual quest to find some meaning in
life. Unquestionably true for me. (Depression may result in a person losing
energy and motivation to keep on going with daily activities). I read this
description and I felt so validated, supported and understood. These words
affirmed that what I was feeling and thinking was also true for many
bereaved parents. I was not alone! Another aspect of Gili's Book that I
found very helpful was Kagan (Klein's) stageless and timeless model for
grief resolution. It took so much pressure off my back for unrealistic
expectations for grief resolution. Since the deaths of my sons, I have felt
the words healing, closure, recovery and resolution were completely
inappropriate. In fact, I felt as if I was being set up to fail. The term
stages and process imply that what has a beginning also has an ending. Kagan
(Klein's) model of parental bereavement described grieving the death of a
child as ongoing and likely lasting a lifetime. This, too, describes my
reality. It would be wonderful if friends and family of bereaved parents
would read this book. It might help them accept that the death of a child
turns the bereaved parent's life upside down and inside out. It might also
help them understand that we will never be the same again; we become very
different people from what we were before the death of our child. As a
bereaved parent, I think this book would be best read a couple of years into
the grief journey. It's at that point that the bereaved parent begins to
realize that, contrary to societal expectations, their grief and sadness is
likely to be ongoing
This book is mandatory reading for all parents., March 5,
1999
Reviewer: A reader from USA
As it says on the back cover, this book does change ones life, for the
better. The story flows, but the deeper implications must not be missed